Parents are
not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
—Bill Cosby
There is hope
for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
—Bill Cosby
If it looks
like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the
possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our
hands
—Douglas Adams
In the beginning,
the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been
widely regarded as a bad idea
—Douglas Adams
Nothing
travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad
news, which obeys its own set of laws.
—Douglas Adams
There is a
theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe
is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by
something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which
states that this has already happened.
—Douglas Adams
On the plus
side,
DEATH
is one of the few things
that can be done
just as easily lying down.
—Woody Allen
Oh, don't take it so hard. I
drove into this madness. Every woman needs a little madness in her life.
—Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac
Remarkable.
You're as casual about death as if it were the theatre
—Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac
A celebrity
is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark
glasses to avoid being recognized."
—Fred Allen
Some see
the glass as half-empty, some see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as
too big
—George Carlin
Last night
I shot an elephant in my Pajamas and how he got in my pajamas I'll never
know.
—Groucho Marx
WARNING: HUMOR
may be hazardous
to your illness
—Ellie Katz
In order to
achieve good health, the most important thing is that you must never, never
work.
—Quentin Crisp
God gave
men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to
run both at the same time.
—Robin Williams
Have no
fear of perfection--you'll never reach it
—Salvador Dali
An idea ran back and forward
in his head like a blind man, knocking over the solid furniture.
—Source
Unknown
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know
what to feed it.
—Stephen Wright
If Beethoven
had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the
history of music... and of aviation.
—Tom Stoppard
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a
large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank
