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Coping with Stress

Coping with stress is a day to day event. In the Manage Stress section, we put forth the ReDraw Life Method (Realize, Experience, Discover, Root, Awareness, Warning - Learn, Identify, Find Encouragement) to help you deal with stress:

REALIZE how you EXPERIENCE stress
Discover the Root of your stress
Awareness of Warning signs

Learn how you deal with stress
Identify healthy alternatives
Find Encouragement

Coping with stress is the Learn & Identify portion of the ReDraw Method. There are three major ways that people tend to cope with stress, they are APE (Appraisal based, Problem based, Emotion based). Because I like to use humor to remember things, I created three monkeys to follow the three ways of coping:

Appraisal based (Visual, Values, Thinking oriented)
Tricky Monkey

Problem based (Speaking, Kinesthetic, Action oriented)
Gritty Monkey

Emotion based (Hearing, Sensory, Feeling oriented)
Cheeky Monkey

Please, remember, I’m using humor here to help you remember some of these concepts. People generally use one approach primarily and then another secondarily or a combination of all three (that’s me).

Monkey Moves

The Tricky Monkey's thinking approach to seeing different viewpoints and handling stress better:

Slow down, don't rush into words or actions you may regret.
Forgive yourself and others. Think about whom you're angry with and whether you're blaming yourself or them unfairly.
think about your anger and whom you're really angry with.
ease up on criticism - don't expect too much of others or yourself.
Read a book or article that gives you new perspectives on your life and values
Positive Thinking
Gratitude Journals; remembering what you are happy for in your life
Forgiveness
Use the Sedona Method
Listen to inspiration speakers
Learn the law of attraction
take a rest from being competitive
develop a support system

The Gritty Monkey's action approach to coping with stress:

Eat well.
Exercise.
Breathe slowly and deeply.
Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day.
Talk to a therapist about your problems and look for the root of your stress
Do something physical like scrubbing the floor or cleaning the car.
Learn new skills for relaxation. Try a type of yogic breathing called 'the cooling breath'. Inhale slowly through your mouth, with your tongue stuck slightly out and folded into a tube. Close your mouth and hold the breath for as long as you comfortably can. Exhale slowly through your nose. Repeat three times.
Set reasonable goals and work towards achieving them.
tackle one thing at a time
develop a support system

The Cheeky Monkey's feeling approach to coping with stress:

go to an empty room where you can't be heard and have a good scream
give vent to your feelings by punching a cushion or other soft furniture
use humor and laugh at the situation
talk to friends and vent about the way you feel
express your feelings in writing or painting
listen to relaxing music you love
'escape' into books, movies or games
Indulge occasionally - it's easier on your system
do things you enjoy and have some fun
develop a support system

Ultimately, you’ll probably need one big grown up APE to effectively cope with stress. Using all three monkeys helps us find balance. I’d start with the monkey you use most often. If you don’t know right off from looking at the major coping methods, as yourself whether you are more of a visual, kinesthetic (action) or hearing type of person, then come back and see if that’s your primary type of coping as well.

Two important concepts that use the full APE are self-esteem (how good you feel about yourself as a whole) & self-efficacy (how competent you think you are at life). If you are doing well with both things you will cope with stress quite well.

Self-esteem
We’ve all heard how important self-esteem is to coping with stress, depression and the day-to-day hassles that effect our lives. We know that too much stress and too little self-esteem can have a detrimental effect on our physical and emotional wellbeing. but people with good support systems are less negatively affected. In general, self-esteem helps us to deal with the negative effects of day-to-day stress.

Self-efficacy
Psychologists have theorized that people have different levels of 'self-efficacy', which is the confident belief that the responses we make to life challenges have a meaningful effect. People with strong self-efficacy face problems with energy and a 'try, try again' spirit. But how does this quality develop, and why do some people appear to have a higher level of self-efficacy than others? Self-efficacy comes from life experiences and from people who serve as significant models. It's built up over the years by responding to challenges with action, flexibility and persistence. Coping with stress - click here for additional ways to relieve stress